Anger Gets A Bad Rap!
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Do you supress it or express it?
We all want to feel good, but that’s not realistic! We have a range of emotions and if we do not get in touch with our feelings, they get buried and create a baseline emotion in the body. Whatever is repressed gets expressed in the form of illness and dis-ease.
Trauma, experiences and memories are stored in the body and when it’s ready to heal an emotion, your body sends you warning signs.
(Anger) manifests as impatience, irritation, frustration, criticism, resentment, jealousy or bitterness.
If we want to create lasting change and live a life filled with freedom and purpose, then it is necessary to shine light on the places in our lives that are keeping us stuck.
This might seem like a lot of work, but you’re worth it!
I’ve learned that personal growth is not “work” it’s actually cultivating a healthy relationship with myself, so that I look inward, instead of outwards to someone or something for love and value.
I get it that anger is not a very comfortable emotion for women to express. We learned at a very young age to be sweet and nice all of the time.
But if we don’t deal with our anger long enough, eventually we misdirect it at someone, something or even ourselves.
Some examples are:
road rage,
yelling at a ticket agent in the airport to book the next available flight, even though flights are cancelled due to bad weather,
nitpicking and complaining about something your partner didn’t do and
the way we misdirect anger at ourselves is, we don’t take care of our wellbeing—we push ourselves, even though we are tired.
A couple years ago, I watched a movie called “Stranded in Paradise” and there was a scene with the main actress and her mother. Her mother was upset that her daughter lost her job and was taking a break to figure things out. She thought her daughter was being irresponsible. Then her mother went on about how she can’t rely on anyone, especially a man.
Her daughter finally stood up to her and said. “Yes mom, I know the story on how dad left you when I was a baby and you were the sole provider. I carry a lot of anger and fear and it's not even mine!”
Maybe you can relate to that story. I know I can!
For years I lived my mother’s unfulfilled dreams and carried her pain, hurt and disappointment. I never stopped to ask myself what I wanted or what would make me happy because I was trying to fit in.
But the more I tried to fit in and belong, the more I felt sick. I experienced depression, anxiety, debilitating migraines and fibromyalgia. When I finally let go of the life I thought would make me happy, all physical ailments dissolved.
I created a free meditation called Release Your Mother's Pain Story, to help you heal and move forward. In this meditation, I guide you to connect with your mother to find out her pain story with your father and to learn how it played out in your life on an unconscious level. You can go here.
I’ve noticed that women sacrifice their needs-wants-desires and make everyone a priority. They learned from their mother’s and foremothers to work really hard, but they feel unfilled and exhausted. They’re doing the right thing, instead of what’s right for them.
But deep down they are angry!
They are tired and frustrated that they are not where they thought they’d be in life and they are going through the motions.
Anger has a message and that is:
We are being hurt.
Our rights are being violated.
Our needs-wants-desires are not being adequately met.
We are not addressing an important emotional issue in our lives.
We are compromising too much of our self in relationships.
We are giving more than we can comfortably give.
3 tips to express anger in a healthy and positive way:
1. Write it out
It takes courage to tell someone what you are angry about. To help you build your courage muscle, get a journal or blank piece of paper and express your anger uncensored.
If you’re hanging on to anger from the past, write a letter to that person and before you burn it, say aloud: I release this, I am no longer angry, love will heal this. Burning the letter releases the negative energy and it loses power over you.
When you write it out not only will you gain perspective, you’ll also not be harbouring your anger towards the other person and/or yourself.
2. Get physical
To release pent-up anger buried in the body play tennis, run, power walk, kick a soccer ball or dance it out. And when the anger surfaces allow it to go through you so it’s not weighing you down. Personally, I like dancing it out to Pat Benatar’s song Hit Me With Your Best Shot.
3. Become proactive
If someone triggers you and you’re upset, take a deep breath to centre yourself and be present. Then calmly talk to the other person involved by saying, “I feel angry because…”
Avoid pointing the finger or rehashing the situation, the other person will most likely be willing to listen and respect your point of view. It’s not about being right, it’s about finding a solution so you can move forward.
Anger is a valid emotion, just like joy and love. By honoring your feelings, you’re telling yourself the truth, instead of acting like everything is fine. You can express it by writing it out, getting physical and becoming proactive. It takes practice and more practice, but I know that you can do it!
This weeks Mana card
Hulu (Feather)
The message is to soar with feather to rise above limitations and myopic views. Realize that the line between your vision and its manifestation is a permeable one.
Feathers can help elevate your consciousness so that you can see where you are heading. Feathers remind us to pay close attention to where we came from, where we are, and where we are going.
How many times have you heard someone say, “I wish I had more time…” I wish I could…” “I wish, I wish.”
The feather gently reminds you to fulfill your wishes now, for this is the only moment there is. The greatest difference between those who wish and those who do is that the wishers wish while the doers do.
Feathers provide a way to rise upward into the realm of expanded vision. Allow the feather to fly you high enough for you to see over anything that blocks your vision. Illusions sometimes appear to be real, but it is you who creates reality.
When you see the world from a heightened perspective, you gain the ability to shift the shape your life is taking. Soar with the feather and possibilities become unlimited.
If you’d like to bring joy back and start making yourself a priority, sign up for my free 7 Days To Joy Challenge here.
